Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We had sex on a dog bed..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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