The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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