sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
