Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize