Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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