Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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