are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
