Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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