I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
