I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."