So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
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I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW