just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?