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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  ...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

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• (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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• (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.

  (801): View more from Utah

  Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?

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