its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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