you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize