so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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