i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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