I think I died a long time ago.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
