i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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