Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
