he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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I can't turn off my feet"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize