She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
