where am i from again
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
