2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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