We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
