yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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