drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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