I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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