My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
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I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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