someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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