There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
