bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
and you fell through a lawn chair
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
