He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
