So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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