my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize