I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for