it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.