you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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