i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize