I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
