then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
