Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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