She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Randomize
