hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
