We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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