girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This house was built for laser tag.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
