I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
