If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize