No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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