Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize