Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its liver damage thursday
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
