Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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