I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
