dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
