My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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