Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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