Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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