Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
