I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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