I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I need water and some morals
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
