oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize