If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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