it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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