im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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